When someone brings a concern or complaint to us, it can be easy to respond in a way that sounds defensive, even without intending it. By just sharing information or explaining, it can sound like excuses or push back. And sometimes of course we even disagree---and share some opinions of our own! How can you … Continue reading What do you need? And how can you get it?
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Are you using your feelings for insight and direction–or are your feelings using you?
Feelings get a bad rap, especially at work. We want to be “professional” of course, rather than reactive. Yet feelings, when used skillfully, can help us self-connect and self-manage at work, helping us clarity and others’ attention and buy-in. It’s like using your feelings as a GPS system, rather than a lead foot on a … Continue reading Are you using your feelings for insight and direction–or are your feelings using you?
High-Impact Feedback
Giving effective feedback ---about what we’d like to see different and what we appreciate---is key in workplace effectiveness and morale. Want to give high impact feedback? Here are a few tips: Create shared reality. What’s the current situation you want to address? By giving a clear observation, with concrete details, all parties can get on … Continue reading High-Impact Feedback
“Getting real” means getting things done.
Do you speak up at work---letting others know what you think and feel? And how often are others honest with you? Jack Welch, the CEO of General Electric, considered candor the most crucial of all corporate behaviors. If people are not authentic about the work they are held accountable to do, then crucial information---and … Continue reading “Getting real” means getting things done.
Interview with Transform Your Life
From a recent interview with Dian Killian, talking about communication, self-compassion, and more: What types of differences can we connect across? Please give examples. Wow - so many differences, every day! From who's going to take out the garbage and who will do the dishes and when, to do we want to have sex tonight … Continue reading Interview with Transform Your Life
Transformative Listening Works for All Ages
Some of you may know my book, Urban Empathy: True Life Adventures of Compassion on the Streets of NY, where I give real-life examples of practicing Nonviolent Communication, including in some challenging situations. One of the first stories is about me listening empathically to a 5-year-old, who is screaming and upset. She had been hitting her brother … Continue reading Transformative Listening Works for All Ages
Exercise: Dissolving enemy images
Enemy images are fixed ideas we create about others that come from a judgment of them, which often lead to blocks in our ability to empathize or connect with that person. The holiday season is approaching and many of us will probably be spending time with loved ones. Often the ones we care about most … Continue reading Exercise: Dissolving enemy images
“One Thing” Exercise: Check In To Your Need For Fun
What’s one thing you have done today to meet your need for fun?
Making Work More Effective: Recapping to Create Shared Reality
Would you like your workplace to run more effectively? Would you like to get on the same page with others and be clear about agreements? Work Collaboratively shows people in organizations how to work more effectively with both clients and colleagues, and our methods have had a high impact in many organizations, from small non-profits … Continue reading Making Work More Effective: Recapping to Create Shared Reality
Extreme Empathy: Taking Empathy to the Next Level
When working with groups and organizations, I often talk about NVC practices that I find highly effective and also consistent with developments in positive psychology, including engaging others and increasing accountability through intrinsic motivation (shared values and what we want to do, rather than have to do), noticing the visceral response of our bodies and what brings us the … Continue reading Extreme Empathy: Taking Empathy to the Next Level
Work Collaboratively 