Connecting Across Differences is a podcast by Dian Killian, Ph.D. of Work Collaboratively about having greater empathy for yourself and others, and how to hear others more deeply and make sure that you’ve been heard. Episodes are available on iTunes and you can also find a complete list here.
Episode 13: Training in Tenderness
I explore the concept of Tsewa, a Tibetan word that roughly translates to “tenderness, warmth, and compassion,” or a state of open-heartedness toward others that helps people experience and spread positive emotions. Specifically, I review the book, Training in Tenderness: Buddhist Teachings on Tsewa, the Radical Openness of Heart That Can Change the World (January 31, 2019)
Episode 12: Creativity, Empathy, and Possibility
Learn how empathy is similar to using a metronome and how one of Dian’s colleagues, Bob Calvano, uses “empathy maps” in his design work. Bob also shares how practicing Collaborative Communication has made a significant difference in how he relates to the people who report to him. (January 15, 2019)
Episode 11: Sitting With Not Knowing
While many people associate empathy and deep listening as the cornerstone of Collaborative Communication, equally important is the skill of expressing our needs honestly to other people. Here’s a real-life example of how I handled it when I was faced with an opportunity to express my needs. (December 15, 2018)
Episode 10: 1,000 Ways to Say “I Love You”
Valentine’s Day is coming up and Dian wanted to take a moment to honor the wonderful feeling that is actually a need. What does it mean when you tell someone “I love you”? What are you really trying to say? What is it that you are appreciating about that person at that moment? The more we can better communicate what we mean when we say this phrase, the stronger connection we can make with those we love.
Episode 9: Celebrating Learning Curves
On this episode, Dian shares tips on celebrating your learning curves so that you can stick with your new year’s resolutions.
Episode 8: Transforming Your Inner Critic
On this episode, Dian shares tips on making peace with your inner critic and transforming self-judgment into self-knowledge.
Episode 7: Enjoying Difficult People
On this episode, Dian shares tips on how to enjoy being around difficult people, especially as the holidays come up.
Episode 6: Strategy Requests
This week’s podcast completes the 3-week focus on requests. In today’s podcast, I focus on making strategy requests that are clear/concrete, positive, and doable.
Episode 5: Connection Requests
Today on the podcast, Dian goes more in-depth on one type of request, the connection request. In the previous episode (#4), Dian gave an overview of making requests. To gain a better understanding of making requests, please listen to episode 4.
Episode 4: Making Requests
On this episode of Connecting Across Differences, Dian focuses on making requests, the fourth step in the model of Nonviolent Communication. To learn more about steps 1 – 3, listen to the previous episodes of this podcast.
Episode 3: Practicing Self Empathy
On this episode of the podcast, we focus on self-empathy (also known as self-management). Self-empathy is a key skill in internally navigating how we respond to situations and to have greater choice and connection when we’re responding to others, especially in situations where we’re triggered or the other person is triggered.
In this episode, Dian gives an overview of all 4 steps and talks in depth about the 2nd and 3rd steps:
- Observation – exactly what you heard the person say or what you saw them do
- Feelings – noticing what you’re feeling or what the other person is feeling, free of judgment.
- Needs – noticing what your needs are and what the other person’s needs are, free of strategy.
- Requests–connection requests (checking in) and/or strategy requests that are clear/concrete, positive, doable and free of demand
Episode 1: Making Observations
In the first episode, Dian focuses on key principles from her book, Urban Empathy, that can make a difference for you in your life and in your relationships. Urban Empathy is a book of illustrated actual verbatim stories set in New York City that show how outcomes can be radically different when we learn to listen deeply to others.