Wow – so many differences, every day! From who’s going to take out the garbage and who will do the dishes and when, to do we want to have sex tonight or go out to see a movie, to stay in, to how do I get my kids to do their homework? Or that co-worker at work to pull his weight or reply to my emails? Or get my boss to give me a raise or the budget I need for a project? That’s on the inter level and local level between people every day at work and at home.

Then there’s the intra level – how do I talk to myself: what do I do if I haven’t gotten my taxes done or paid my bills on time? Or not exercising as much as I want or not eating foods that support my well being? Or hundreds of other tasks/behaviors we want ourselves to pay attention to and attend to.

How do we talk to ourselves about that? I find the greatest level of violence occurs every day in how we talk to ourselves. It’s heartbreaking – when you actually hear what people are saying to themselves, and how. I want to protect them – from themselves! And of course I can do that too – I think we all can. It’s so part of our culture. It’s endemic.

So how do we mediate internally, and resolve that part of us wants to lay in the hammock, and part of us thinks we shouldbe cutting the lawn (or something else)? How do we do that with self-kindness and compassion? And on a larger/broader level, how do our political parties resolve differences? And states and nations? It’s all connected. NVC offers practical transformative tools to address these differences, on multiple levels.

This interview is reprinted from Transform Your Life. Read the full interview here: http://transformyourlife-zhana21.blogspot.co.uk/2015/10/dian-killan-connecting-across.html