When someone brings a concern or complaint to us, it can be easy to respond in a way that sounds defensive, even without intending it.  By just sharing information or explaining, it can sound like excuses or push back. And sometimes of course we even disagree—and share some opinions of our own!

How can you respond proactively in a way that’s efficient and proactive? And connecting?

Getting to the Core of What Matters

I love what one of my coaching clients came up with—showing (after a coaching and training program at her company) just how much she had integrated the practices of Collaborative Communication.

In a dream, a customer came to her frustrated and irate. He was the father of a bride (her company caters large scale, high-end weddings) and the man in the dream was large, sweaty and a bit drunk. Others in the wedding party were in earshot as the man shouted repeatedly, “You have to step up! You have to step up!”

In their business, stakes are high. Weddings — once in a lifetime events that couples often spend years thinking about and saving for—are exciting. Yet nerves at these big, special events can be on edge. Even with the best standards and service, customers can be demanding, anxious and distressed. One of these customers had turned up in this manager’s dream!

Yet the manager, having learned to practice Collaborative Communication, had a simple and easy and connecting response to the man: “What do you need?”  

It’s that simple.

In any given situation, we can take two simple steps: Identify the core or “driving” needs at play and then see how we can best address these needs.

To ask these questions with genuine openness and curiosity and a desire to support and discover can also take what I call self-management as well: the capacity to identify and empathize what we are needing in the moment and how our needs can be attended to. Once we are self-connected in this way, it’s far easier to be present to someone else and find the resources to ask, with genuine caring and empathy, “What do you need?”

What do you need–and your team? Contact me today for a free consult where we focus on your needs and your team’s needs and start exploring ways to more effectively meet those needs—and achieve your business objectives.