From a recent interview with Dian Killian, talking about communication, self-compassion, and more: What types of differences can we connect across? Please give examples. Wow - so many differences, every day! From who's going to take out the garbage and who will do the dishes and when, to do we want to have sex tonight … Continue reading Interview with Transform Your Life

A few words about judgement: “As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized…”All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are … Continue reading NON-judgement Day!

How do we share what we care about most in ways that others can easily hear, winning hearts and minds? Working for equality requires building trusting community – but to actually interact in ways that apply to community-building, transformative social change and the work for equality is no small feat. Most of us have been educated from … Continue reading Sharing our Passion, Holding our Ground!

Below is an exercise to help you transform a self-judgemental “I should…” into an actionable “I need…” If you’d like to practice more ways to turn negative self-talk into a beautiful mirror, Dian is teaching Making Internal Bullies into Allies: Shifting Negative Self-Talk into Constructive Action on Saturday March 9 in NYC, details here. This … Continue reading Freeing Ourselves from Shoulds

Ever feel like your inner queen is too haughty? Wonder what might happen if you could say what you really mean, get heard, and drop the blaming? Wish you could use your truest voice to tell others what you feel and need simply and clearly? This April 25-28, a Northeastern social-justice retreat and camp, Rowe … Continue reading Queering Compassion, one conversation at a time

As an English major and wordsmith, I enjoy receiving Word of the Day emails from the OED, and often I think there is a synchronicity to the words that the ghost in the machine sends my way. In this way I was recently introduced to the concept of biophilia. The OED tells us this means: … Continue reading Biophilia: Life-affirming Needs

A few weeks ago, Miki Kashtan wrote on The Fearless Heart about responding to people in power [see the original post here]. She says: Challenging authority with love can take the form of saying “no” without giving up on the person’s humanity or dignity, either personally or collectively. This is my deepest understanding of what … Continue reading Responding to Authority: a story about the MTA

This summary is from a May 2012 conference paper by Dr. Jane Connor with Dr. Dian Killian, Dr. Robert Wentworth, Martha Lasley, MBA. See a summary of that paper here. Findings from Merck, Inc., supported by research conducted by the Center for Collaborative Communication, document significant benefits of listening skill training in the workplace. In … Continue reading Summary of Impact Assessment: Collaborative Communication Training

Can empathy be taught? Is it “natural” in humans? Recent research shows that educators are looking for pedagogical strategies for increasing empathy and compassion in students. Young people are in a particularly ripe developmental stage to develop compassion. “Empathy requires something called Theory of Mind,” educator Lara Mattox, Ph.D. says. “It is a concept that … Continue reading Education for Empathy & Compassion

““In a profoundly interdependent world, generosity is fundamental to the entire economy of life. Even the simplest biological function involves receiving something from others (nutrients, oxygen, life), processing it in some unique way, and then passing it on to all other members of the matrix of life. The practice of giving becomes perfected when we … Continue reading In a profoundly interdependent world, generosity is fundamental …