Exercise: The Communication Transformer Part 1

HOW TO PLAY THE COMMUNICATION TRANSFORMER

PART ONE

1)    Write down some words that you did not enjoy hearing. These can be words someone said directly to you or that you overheard another person saying to someone else. Regardless, make sure it’s a direct quotation (rather than your summary or interpretation of the words).  For example: “You always screw it up!” or “You never listen.” or “You’re impossible!”

2)    Look at the list of FEELING WORDS. Choose 3-5 words that describe how you’re FEELING when you think about the words you heard. For example: sad, disappointed, mad. You may also wish to notice what sensations you are feeling in your body— such as hot, restricted, tense.

3)    Connected with how you’re feeling, now look at the list of NEED WORDS. Choose 3-6 words that speak to the NEEDS you are longing to experience when you think about the words you heard. For example: competency, understanding, effectiveness, acceptance…

4)    Take a moment to check in with yourself and your body. How do feel NOW, having connected with your feelings and needs? (If you are feeling incomplete, you can go back to steps two and three).

5)    Having completed these steps, is there a request you’d like to make of yourself or another person?

Did you find the Communication Transformer helpful? What needs were met for you by completing this exercise? How might awareness of feelings and needs support you when communicating with others? How might it support connection with your self?

Please check back for part two of the exercise later in July!

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