When coaching clients or leading trainings about Collaborative Communication (NVC), I like to point out that the practice involves two aspects: the skill set---focused on four basic steps, and what I call the mindset---the consciousness or awareness---that informs those steps: our desire--for harmony, understanding, collaboration, or greater connection. If you're practicing OFNR by rote---going through "observations, … Continue reading The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions
Embracing the Body: Learning Compassion as a “Felt-Sense”
Think back to when you were five. What do you remember learning? I bet it's hard to recall a specific fact or statistic. Yet I bet anything you learned with your body -- riding a bicycle, swimming, playing an instrument, or jumping rope, for example -- you probably still remember and know how to do. … Continue reading Embracing the Body: Learning Compassion as a “Felt-Sense”
Empathy with Strangers
When giving NVC intros, I often suggest that those new to the model start out by practicing it silently, connecting with your own feelings and needs (self-empathy) or silently empathy guessing with others. I also suggest that when you do practice out loud, to start out with complete strangers. There's lower stakes and less pressure, … Continue reading Empathy with Strangers
New stories, for a new year!
One of my favorite quotes is from Muriel Rukeyser: "The Universe is made of stories, not of atoms." While from a poet, it's interesting that this view increasingly holds scientific weight. Studies show that how we see things—a person’s face, particular colors, or even how we remember the “facts” of what happened---has less to do with “objective” reality than with the filter … Continue reading New stories, for a new year!
NON-judgement Day!
A few words about judgement: “As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized…”All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are … Continue reading NON-judgement Day!
Gratitude for the year
Dear friends, As the days shorten and grow colder, I think of all those in my life who bring me warmth and light. Thank you for your commitment to yourself---and others around you and the world---in communicating with greater care and compassion. And thank you for all the moments of joy, playfulness, insight and connection … Continue reading Gratitude for the year
How to Really Have Happy Holidays!
Mmmmmm, the holidays! Time to relax, enjoy good food, and the sweet company of family and friends. All the festivities (and high carb food) can help us get through the dark, cold months of winter. Yet sometimes the holidays can be stressful. We have more social engagements (all those holiday parties and events), and preparations … Continue reading How to Really Have Happy Holidays!
Transforming Injury into Empowerment and Engagement: A Moving Example
In my last post, I wrote about the school shooting in Georgia and how, as a result of a different kind of response, there was a different outcome---an outcome far superior in my opinion (in terms of avoiding further trauma and protecting human life). Most of us, thankfully, never have to face a life and … Continue reading Transforming Injury into Empowerment and Engagement: A Moving Example
Respect and Integrity in Response to Violence
As someone with an interest in cultural studies (as some of you know, my PhD focused on this area), I am always interested in how beliefs manifest in cultural systems and institutions and how, through this, different beliefs and practices are related. Foucault is known for his study of these kinds of connections, in the … Continue reading Respect and Integrity in Response to Violence
Living the Full Integrity and Promise of NVC
At the core of NVC practice is a basic principle: that we are far better served by focusing on what we want to generate or create than focusing on what's negative, not "right," or "wrong." Each step of the NVC process leads us in this direction: observing what we're experiencing (that we wish to change), … Continue reading Living the Full Integrity and Promise of NVC
Work Collaboratively 