#3. Connect with Our Intention (Part 2)

Look at the needs  you selected in the previous lesson. Which one is standing out to you the most?

Take a moment and imagine that need fully met. Think of a time when you fully experienced that quality – or imagine it fully experienced now.

(Note: If you start going into a negative version of the need or a negative story – for example, “I really want clarity, and I know with this person I will never get it!” pause and bring yourself back to the positive: to the need fully imagined as met, to your desire for clarity. Regardless of the other person’s actions or response, the needs that you value and want are still valid and real.)

By connecting with the “positive” value (your intrinsic motivation in speaking up) it can be much easier to find the words and the confidence to share what’s on your mind. If you’re feeling nervous about speaking up, take a moment to reconnect with your intrinsic purpose on a core level.    

And notice how your body feels when connected with the core need you’ve selected. Most people relax or feel more at ease when connected with the need that matters to them in a situation. And feeling relaxed makes it easier to speak up, express, and be heard. 

Let’s practice:

Try practicing this in the next day. The next time you speak up—even about something that seems simple or mundane—take a moment to reflect on the following questions:

What need am I meeting by speaking up?

What is my intention on a core level?

How does it make a difference to connect with that intention?

Make sure you connect with a core need, one of the values on the list above that are universal.

Once again, here is an inventory of needs.