Note: In the last few blogs, I’ve been taking excerpts from the introduction to my book Urban Empathy where I discuss superheroes, NYC and nonviolence. If you missed those posts, you can read the first in that series here. Today and in my next blog, I’ll be sharing highlights from the aftermatter of Urban Empathy, … Continue reading What is Collaborative (Nonviolent) Communication? – Part II
In part two of this series on connecting with younger parts, Dorset Campbell-Ross offers practical tools to soothe these parts and give them an opportunity to be heard. I invited Dorset to write on this topic after we exchanged some ideas on the CNVC Certified Trainers list and discovered that we each had developed, on opposite sides of the earth, similar and yet distinct practices.
Part One in Three-Part Series Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash Marshall Rosenberg, as part of his sharing NVC (Nonviolent Communication), talked about us all having two parts, “The Chooser'' and “The Educator.” The Chooser is the part that makes choices about what we say and do, choosing what will hopefully meet our needs. The … Continue reading Empathizing 2.0: Listening to the Different Voices in our Heads
By practicing observations in NVC, we are retraining our brains and neural pathways by stating what we’re experiencing in a positive way and being proactive: sharing what we’re seeing and hearing (observations), how it lives in us (feelings), what we want on a core level (needs) and then what we desire on a strategy level (requests).
While petitioning in New York City to protect the critically endangered vaquita porpoise, I encountered many responses from people (ranging from very positive to very negative) and worked on my own reactions to remain out of judgment.
Focusing on the positive by training our brains to listen for what we want (on a core level of needs) and then to ask for what we want (as opposed to what we don’t want) with a positive request leads to much better results than focusing on the negative.
In my last blog post, "See Me Beautiful," I wrote about the “positivity” of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) on a philosophical level. Understanding this “positive” orientation of NVC is helpful on a practical level because once you “grok” this (get the concept and integrate it) it will give you more ease in practicing and living NVC … Continue reading The Positivity of NVC: Needs – Part II
I've long been a fan of Amanda Palmer and her band the Dresden Dolls (if you don't know her mix of cabaret-punk music, check out Coin Operated Boy which says a lot in three minutes about human longing.) About two years ago Amanda gave a TED talk on The Art of Asking and now has a … Continue reading True Love: Open Hearted Giving and Receiving
What do you do when you're triggered? And when others are triggered too? At trainings and in coaching sessions, I am often asked this question. It seems one of the main reasons people learn NVC: to know how to respond in challenging situations with more choice (by better self-connecting and hearing others), with care and consideration … Continue reading Listening–When It’s Hard to Hear