Awhile ago, I passed by an ASPCA van, with cats up for adoption. I went over to take a look and fell in love with a cat called Caiden. I love Irish names, so he caught my attention. I already had two cats at home and wasn’t looking for a third, but Caiden was so … Continue reading Kitty Empathy
Several years ago I was heading to a holiday party I’d organized with a bunch of supplies in tow. I live in New York City and was riding the subway. I packed all the decorations and food in a large cart with wheels to make it easy to transport. By the time I got to … Continue reading Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures
If you’re attempting to communicate with someone who doesn't speak or sign the same language as you, and you don’t have an interpreter, no matter how clear or connected your communication, you may not be heard or understood. There are external or structural issues at play. Your empathic intention---communicated via your facial expressions and body … Continue reading Creating Peace and Change: A Multi-Level Approach
Note: this blog post is a transcription of a podcast made in January, which you can listen to here. The NVC Academy- which offers online courses on Nonviolent Communication, held a telethon last year and invited trainers to donate prizes. In addition to donating copies of my book, Urban Empathy, I also donated speaking on … Continue reading Working with our Learning Curves
About two years ago the NVC Academy organized an online symposium on Removing Our Blinders: Seeing the Impact of Power and Privilege. The symposium offered opportunities for those of European background and people of color to share their experiences as well as men and women, and for others to empathically listen in a virtual fishbowl. This … Continue reading NVC Conversations About Power, Privilege, “Power-Over” and Social Change
I recently got into a discussion about the concept of “deserve” thanks to the person who sends out emails for me, who dropped the “D” word in a recent subject line about a program I’m leading next week in North Carolina. If you missed it, the subject line read: “You Deserve Your Best Life.” … Continue reading What Do You Deserve? And Do You Really Want to Deserve Anything?
Most people value authenticity in their lives -- being honest, genuine, and real, and true to their values and their vision. If we want love and a depth of connection in our lives (most people I know want this), we want love and connection based on who we “really” are... our authentic selves! Authenticity in … Continue reading Living in Full Authenticity
A few years ago, I developed a course for DailyBitsOf.com on giving effective feedback. Thousands of people have tried it, and they said the course changed how they give and receive feedback. Recently, DailyBitsOf interviewed me on this topic and, in particular, on what makes giving feedback so hard? Here are some of my thoughts, from that … Continue reading Why is Giving Feedback SO Hard?
Take a moment to honor the wonderful feeling that is actually a need. What does it mean when you tell someone "I love you"? What are you really trying to say? What is it that you are appreciating about that person in that moment? The more we can better communicate what we mean when we say this phrase, the stronger connection we can make with those we love.
Connecting Across Differences is a new podcast by Dian Killian, PhD of Work Collaboratively about having greater empathy for yourself and others, and how to hear others more deeply and make sure that you’ve been heard. Episodes are available on iTunes. Listen to Episode 9 below: On this episode, Dian shares tips on celebrating your learning curves so … Continue reading Episode 9: Celebrating Learning Curves