A few years ago, I developed a course for DailyBitsOf.com on giving effective feedback. Thousands of people have tried it, and they said the course changed how they give and receive feedback. Recently, DailyBitsOf interviewed me on this topic and, in particular, on what makes giving feedback so hard? Here are some of my thoughts, from that … Continue reading Why is Giving Feedback SO Hard?
Author: diankillian
Enjoying Difficult People, Including Yourself: Special Holiday Edition!
I know that "enjoying" sounds like a high bar. If someone's difficult I find often we don't want anything to do with them we want them out of our hair and out of our lives. What's amazing to me and impressive, over and over again, when I practice NVC and I practice self-empathy I get … Continue reading Enjoying Difficult People, Including Yourself: Special Holiday Edition!
What’s Love Got To Do With It? A Thousand Ways to Say, “I Love You” – in Giraffe.
“I love you.” Ah, that warm and fuzzy feeling! I can see hear birds singing. Little cupids with their bows and arrows, and rainbows! Every song and poem about romantic love floats into my head… as The Beatles croon, “All you need is love!” Love is a universal need. We all need it. In fact, … Continue reading What’s Love Got To Do With It? A Thousand Ways to Say, “I Love You” – in Giraffe.
Self-Management: More Joy at Work
This article is a reprint from an article published in 2016 in Empathische Zeit. Most people I know set a fairly low bar in terms of their expectations for their work experience. If you like your job, that’s considered to be "good." Can you say that your work brings you joy... or empowerment, inspiration, creativity, and … Continue reading Self-Management: More Joy at Work
Episode 6: Strategy Requests
Connecting Across Differences is a podcast by Dian Killian, Ph.D. of Work Collaboratively about having greater empathy for yourself and others, and how to hear others more deeply and make sure that you’ve been heard. Episodes are available on iTunes. Listen to Episode 6: This week’s podcast completes the 3-week focus on requests. In week … Continue reading Episode 6: Strategy Requests
#4Steps: Wrapping it up
#12. Wrapping it up Now you have all the steps that will help you give effective feedback: setting your intention, coming up with an observation, sharing your feelings, and your needs, and the two-sub parts of the request step: making both connection requests and then clear strategy requests that are concrete, positive and doable. Just … Continue reading #4Steps: Wrapping it up
#4Steps: A Guide to Strategy Requests
#11. Step 4 - A Guide to Strategy Requests When focused on a strategy request, you want it to be concrete, positive, and doable. Otherwise, it’s like depending on telepathy to actually get your needs met. Strategy requests are concrete This step is in some ways like the observation step. What would the action … Continue reading #4Steps: A Guide to Strategy Requests
#4Steps: Getting Your Needs Met (Connection Requests, Part Two)
#10 Step 4 (Part 2) - Getting Your Needs Met (Connection Requests, Part Two) Making a connection request is like getting a weather report. It also helps you get to the next kind of request you’ll make, once you have connection: a strategy request. The reason you want to connect with the person first is … Continue reading #4Steps: Getting Your Needs Met (Connection Requests, Part Two)
#4Steps: Putting It All Together (Connection Requests)
#9 Step 4 (Part 1) - Putting It All Together (Connection Requests) So far we’ve focused first on external reality - what we’ve seen or heard in the external world, and then how we’re experiencing that, internally, via our feelings and needs. All of the steps so far work towards our taking responsibility for our … Continue reading #4Steps: Putting It All Together (Connection Requests)
#4Steps: What’s driving you? (part 2)
#8. Step 3: What’s driving you? (“How feelings connect to needs”) Take a moment and think again about what happened. What did you hear or see that you want to give feedback about (the observation - step one). When you think about what you saw or what you heard, how do you feel (feelings- step … Continue reading #4Steps: What’s driving you? (part 2)
Work Collaboratively 